Speechless and Breathless
by Darkbrokenreaper
Summary: AU Kanda Yuu finds a boy with a cursed left eye while hunting akuma in a destroyed city and immediately takes a liking in him. But something is wrong with the boy... he's mute. YULLEN
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: A new D. gray man fiction for all of you KandaXAllen addicts. This is in an alternate universe where Kanda has not met Allen yet but he will. Very very soon. Also, I am horrible with battle scenes so please bear with me. Please enjoy and review! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

A Lonely Boy in the Dusk

Breath in. Breath out. Meditation was one of the things that kept Kanda calm and civil. The training room was usually empty in the night with everyone asleep and he had the room to himself. Candles illuminated the room, sending shadows dancing on the walls. There was a quiet in a room that soothed him

"Kanda," Lenalee called out to him, searching the training room. He opened his eyes, annoyed slightly that she would disturb him at a time like this. "Komui-niisan is looking for you. It's a new mission."

He got up, pulling his exorcist coat over him.

"There you are!" she brightened, breathless. "Komui-niisan needs to see you. Something about a new mission here in England."

He followed her to his office wordlessly. The sight that greeted him was not uncommon. Papers were strewn everywhere, books were piled high on every free space available and in the middle of it all was a man wearing a white beret and sleeping.

The swordsman growled in annoyance and stepped over the mess.

"Lenalee is getting married," he spoke.

Instantly, Komui sat up.

"NOOOOOOO!!" he began wailing, "LENALEE-CHAN!! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL YOUR DEAREST BROTHER YOU WERE GETTING MARRIED!! NOOOOOOOO!!"

Seeing both people standing in front of him, he stopped.

"I'm not getting married," Lenalee sighed in resignation. Why did it always have to come to this?

"You lied to me!" he pointed an accusing finger at the samurai.

Kanda sighed, massaging his temples.

"Whatever!" he snapped, "Tell me what the mission is!"

Komui cleared his throat and dug through the mountain of piles before extracting one of them.

"There is a city, not far from here," Komui read from it, handing the mission's specs to him, "There is an innocence in the vicinity and akuma have been sighted already. Your job is to find the innocence and bring it back and exterminate any and all akuma from the area. Your train leaves in an hour. Your partner is already at the station."

* * *

"Oh, you can not be serious," he groaned, seeing his partner.

"YUU-CHAN!" Lavi hooked an arm around his neck but stopped when a blade touched his throat. "We're partners! How lucky is that?"

"Horrible," he replied, jabbing Lavi with Mugen's hilt. "And stop calling me that!"

"Aww, is Yuu-chan secretly happy but doesn't want to show it?" the redheaded teen cooed, "That's alright! I know you love me!"

"Sure," Kanda spat, "Enough to cut out your entrails with Mugen and feed your remains to a pack of wolves."

"Eep," Lavi backed away, "Ouch. That hurt, Yuu-chan."

"Shut up, stupid rabbit," Kanda sheathed his sword and boarded the train, "And if you value your life, you will stay quiet until we reach the city."

On reaching the station, akuma had already ravaged the city and swarmed after the two exorcists.

Kanda launched himself into the fray, slashing left and right without waiting for the rabbit. Akuma came at him, pelting him with attacks that he deflected easily. He landed some blows of his own and took them out.

"Damn mission," Kanda muttered under his breath, slashing through another akuma with Mugen. What was formally a pristine city was rubble now. He had failed before he even started. Everyone was dead. Anger fueled him as he swept through another hoard of akuma.

Quiet met him. There seemed to be no more akuma around. He stopped and lowered his sword, eyes scanning his surroundings.

Amidst the rubble, Kanda saw a hand sticking out of a pile of stone. It twitched and he knew that whatever was under there was alive.

"Oi!" he shouted at Lavi, "Idiot rabbit! There's someone buried here!" He sheathed Mugen and began moving away the stones. Under the layer of rocks was a boy.

Silver-grey eyes met midnight blue ones. The boy's mouth moved wordlessly before his eyes closed and he slipped into unconsciousness.

Kanda felt his next words stuck in his throat. Cute was the word he would relate to with the small being. He looked so vulnerable and innocent asleep. In an act of tenderness, he picked the boy up and brushed some of the dust away from the pale boy's cheeks.

"Aww," Lavi chose that precise moment to pop up. "Is Yuu-chan in love with the little kid?"

"Shut up!" he snapped, blushing and dropping the person in surprise. Lavi looked at the child before freezing.

"Uh, Kanda?" Lavi pointed to the boy's left eye, "Look at his hand and his eye."

The swordsman followed his line of vision and saw the cursed pentacle that decorated the child's left eye. But on closer inspection, he could see that the left hand had a cross decorating the red, flaked skin. The boy's hair was also a very peculiar shade of snowy white.

"Innocence and a curse?" Kanda muttered, shocked. "Let's take him back to Headquarters. You carry him." He got up and began heading for the train station.

"H-Hey!" Lavi helped the white-haired boy on his back, "Wait for me!"

* * *

"How is he?" Lenalee asked Lavi as he exited the hospital room. Lenalee had taken an instant liking to the small boy and visited him everyday.

"Still not awake," Lavi sighed. He had also taken an instant liking to the small child. "He's probably in a coma. He has a few scratches and bruising in the ribs but other than that, there are no signs of injury."

"It's been three days. We don't even know who he is," Lenalee mused, "Or how he has innocence."

"It's getting late," the red-haired teen stretched tiredly, "How about we get some sleep and check in tomorrow? He's bound to wake up one of these days."

"Sure," she nodded, following him out of the hospital wing, "Kanda should visit the kid. He's the one that him in the first place anyway."

"Yeah," Lavi smiled, "But you know how he is. He didn't even admit he liked the little boy."

Kanda took this time to sneak into the room. Although he wouldn't admit it but he liked visiting the cursed child everyday at night after he had meditated. Something in his stomach always stirred when the samurai saw his face and he couldn't help but let out a small smile when he went to see the white-haired kid. He didn't know what these feelings were, or what in the world had caused it but he concluded that he liked these feelings and thus continued these nightly visits.

He sat down on a chair placed beside the boy and watched him sleep.

"Stupid kid," he murmured as if blaming the kid, "How can you be so addictive without being awake? You're so small and weak too."

His hand touched the boy's white hair and brushed it away from his pale cheeks.

"Beansprout," he glared half-heartedly to the small child, "You're gonna have to wake up one of these days."

As if by command, the boy's eyelids fluttered open. A small, noiseless moan emitted from the child. Grey eyes stared up at him, piercing his very soul. Kanda blushed and felt something warm bubbling in the pit of his stomach.

Tears suddenly clouded up in the boy's eyes and poured down his pale face.

"O-Oi!" Kanda grabbed onto the child's arm, uncomfortable. He didn't know what to do or what to say. "Stop crying!"

If anything, it made the boy sob harder.

"Stop it, beansprout!" Kanda shouted, unnerved. The child's arms suddenly wrapped around the swordsman's neck and Kanda found himself holding the boy as he cried. All through this, the cursed child had never made a sound.

"You're... mute, aren't you?" Kanda whispered, looking at the boy resting his head on his chest for confirmation. The crying stopped and the boy nodded slightly. "Fuck."

**A/N: The beginning is a little shaky but it will hopefully get better as I progress. Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I may seem like I'm rushing this fic but I feel so inspired lately that I can't help but put it up and plus I think that reviewers will like that I've updated, I guess. Also, Allen is fifteen in this fic whereas everyone else is eighteen. Anyway, so please read and review!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Behind the Mask is a Reason

"Wait, so he's not mute?" Kanda asked again. All through the night, the child had refused to release him and demanded silently that the man stay with him. In the morning, both Lenalee and Lavi found him sleeping next to the boy and after dismissing all accusations with a few strongly worded statements, they alerted Komui that the cursed boy was awake.

"Not exactly," Komui explained, throwing down another file, "His name is Allen Walker and he is an exorcist. His 'mutated' arm is his anti-akuma weapon. And according to these reports, the destroyed city you rescued him from was his temporary home. He also seems to be suffering from brain damage."

"So how does this tie in with him being mute?" Kanda growled.

"He's not," Komui folded his hands, "Rather, he doesn't want to talk because something in his brain is keeping him from speaking. It could be anything: an traumatic accident, the death of a loved one, maybe even a simple knock in the head."

"So he's basically retarded to the point where his mentality is akin to a one year old," the swordsman reworded bluntly.

"Kanda!" the man scolded, holding a hand over his heart dramatically, "That's no way to say that! In fact, I demand that you see the poor lad now!"

"No way in hell!" Kanda frowned, "I have a new mission tomorrow. There is no way I'm gonna spend any time with that bean sprout."

"Then you are relieved from your old mission and you have a new one," Komui smirked almost triumphantly, "You will take care of Walker-san until he can speak again. Until then, you won't have missions."

"WHAT?!"

* * *

Despite how loud his stomach growled and how painful it felt, Allen had no intention of eating. He disregarded the girl sitting next to him, begging him to eat. Instead, he yearned for the person that had woken him up and looked at the door almost desperately.

"Please, Allen-kun," Lenalee pleaded, holding up a bowl of rice. "Eat a little. You haven't had any food for three days straight. You're going to be very weak if you get some food in your stomach."

He shook his head, dazed and continued staring gauntly at the door.

"You have to get some nourishment," she held a spoonful to his lips. He turned his head away and pressed his lips together tightly. She sighed, giving up and putting the rice bowl down. "I'm going to leave now but Lavi-niisan will come in a few minutes! Please eat something. You don't want him unhappy."

Allen made no motion that he had heard her. His silver-grey eyes stared blankly at the door.

She got up and stepped outside, giving one last pitying at the pale boy.

"How is he?" the future bookman asked worriedly from outside. He had heard everything.

"He won't eat," Lenalee mumbled, "He doesn't want to eat even though he's obviously hungry. It's like he's waiting for someone to come and I can't tell who since he can't answer me."

"Maybe Yuu-chan can try!" his lips cracked into a small hopeful smile. "God knows how much the kid loves him!"

"I told you to stop calling me that!" Kanda snarled, pointing Mugen at Lavi's face.

"Ack!" he cried, jumping away, "Where the hell did you come from?"

Kanda ignored the idiot rabbit and stormed into the room. Lavi and Lenalee looked at him, confused at his anomalous behavior.

Allen looked up from his hands, almost dreading the sound of the door opening and slamming closed. It was probably the girl or the redheaded teen again, telling him he needed to eat. Midnight blue eyes and long raven hair greeted him instead. His stormy grey eyes immediately brightened. A warm feeling rumbled in his stomach and he smiled sweetly at the Japanese man. He didn't know why but he took an instant liking in the stoic man and his heart always burst with happiness when he saw him.

His lips moved in a greeting but no sound came out.

"Oi, beansprout," Kanda held up the bowl of rice, "Eat this!"

Allen nodded but his eyes strayed to his hands, lying useless at his sides. Kanda stared back at him, puzzled for a second before a thought hit him.

"Oh hell no," Kanda snapped, "I am not feeding you! Eat this by yourself."

Allen rolled his eyes and glared pointedly at the swordsman.

"He can't move his arms yet, Yuu-chan!" Lavi called from behind the safety of the door in a matter-of-fact tone, "You're just going to have to help him!"

He emerged from the door after he gauged his safety. Lenalee followed him in, giving Allen a comforting smile.

"Shut the fuck up, damn rabbit!" he shouted, "Why don't you feed him?"

"That's the problem," Lenalee stood next to Lavi, "He won't eat when either of us feeds him. But he seems to react fine with you. He's fond of you since you're the one to find him and the first one he saw when he regained consciousness."

"Oh hell no," he frowned, shooting a glare at Allen. "This is all your fault."

Allen smiled naively and opened his mouth as Kanda shoved a spoonful of rice. Allen choked, spitting out the food onto the raven-haired man's face.

"You did not just do that," he glared at the small boy as both exorcists behind him laughed to the point where tears were coming out of their eyes. Allen smiled warmly, a hint of embarrassment in his face.

"Kanda!" Lavi laughed, "Be more gentle! You're going to choke him!"

The Japanese man mumbled a string of curses under his breath and held up another spoonful, letting Allen's lips enclose around the spoon. As it turned out, Allen had a very _big_ appetite and cleaned off 10 bowls of rice, 50 plates of mitarashi dango, 20 bowls of soup, and 10 plates of barbequed ribs before he was satisfied.

"How did you eat all that?" Lavi's one eye widened in amazement and slight disgust, "That was enough food to fill you for a week!"

"Che," Kanda snorted, holding out another piece of dango for him. "For a small beansprout you sure eat a lot."

"How adorable!" Lenalee squealed, unaffected by Allen's large cast iron stomach. "You're so cute!" She attempted to hug Allen but he pulled the samurai in front of him, hiding behind the man in fright.

His lips moved again, mouthing words at a lightening fast speed.

"Who are you?" Lavi translated just as quickly. Everyone stared at him. The future bookman blanched and laughed sheepishly.

"You could lip read all this time?" Kanda barked, drawing out Mugen, "And you never told us?"

"W-Well!" Lavi backed away, laughing joyfully as he avoided Kanda's wrath, "Y-You never asked!"

"I'm Lenalee Lee," she introduced herself to Allen. She pointed at Lavi. "The one with the eye patch is Lavi. And the one trying to kill him is Kanda Yuu."

Allen watched merrily as Kanda waved Mugen threateningly at Lavi.

"Aah!" Lavi shrieked, grabbing Allen by the shoulders and hiding behind him, "Don't be such a meanie! Set a good example for our little brother Allen!"

"Good example my ass!" Kanda brandished his sword at Lavi, "I am going to cut off your head!"

"Ah!" he feigned screaming, "He's going to kill me! Save me, Allen-chan!"

Allen grinned and hesitantly reached out for Kanda's face. His quivering hands touched his cheeks and his thumbs caressed them softly.

"O-Oi!" Kanda turned a bright shade of red. "W-What do you think you're doing, you stupid beansprout?"

Allen opened his mouth.

"K-Kan... da," he spoke, his voice ragged. Allen winced and tried again, licking his lips to moisten them. "K-Kanda."

**A/N: Please read and review! I have 23 supporters and let us see if all of you can review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Another chapter is ready. I'm on a roll with this one because I guess I love slightly mute, adorable Allen. Also, thank you everyone that reviewed! I loved reading all of them! And the next chapter is going to be slow since these past chapters have been mostly fluffy and has little plot (not that it's a bad thing). So expect the next one to be more plot and a tiny bit less fluff. Please read and review!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

The Heart is A Thing to Treasure

"Kanda!" Allen spoke again, proud that he had mastered saying the swordsman's name.

"D-Did he just say your name?" Lavi pointed at Allen before breaking into a wide grin. "Aww! He loves you, Yuu-chan! He said your name!"

Kanda turned a darker shade of red if that was possible.

"Shut up!" he detached himself quickly from the white-haired boy and chased after Lavi.

Something in the Japanese man's chest burned when Allen had spoken his name although he didn't know what. He was afraid to admit it but he couldn't help smirking proudly that the first thing the beansprout had said was his name.

"How adorable!" Lenalee smiled, her hand moving to pat Allen. Allen moved away, dodging her hand and backing away from fear. Her face appeared crestfallen. "Oh. You don't want me to touch you?"

Allen made another noiseless whine and his eyes searched frantically for Kanda.

"K-Kanda!" Allen called out pitifully, his hands stretched out toward said person.

"Now what?" he frowned, giving up his chase and moving back toward the cursed child. "What do you want?" Allen's fingers grabbed onto Kanda's waist and locked his arms firmly around him. He buried his head into the samurai's stomach and refused to let go.

"He's really attached to you, Yuu-chan," the future bookman observed, laughing giddily at the boy's childish behavior.

"No shit, Sherlock," Kanda answered sarcastically, putting his hands on Allen's shoulders, "Get off, you stupid moyashi!"

"He won't let anyone else near him," Lenalee replied softly as Allen shook his head stubbornly. "You're going to have to play his caretaker for now."

At that statement, Allen broke out into a wide grin and nodded in agreement.

"He can speak now," Kanda glared at him, "I can get a new mission now. Hopefully a very very long one."

"Yeah, he can say one word," Lavi scoffed, "He's gonna need a lot more care than that."

"Shut up," he growled, "I'm going to take him to Komui's office." He pried off Allen's hands and stormed out, assuming that he would follow.

"W-Wait! Kanda!" Lenalee held her hands up, halting him. "He can't walk yet!"

Allen's silver-grey eyes turned tearful again and he let out a soundless wail, wanting the Japanese man's presence near him. Kanda sighed and turned back.

"How the hell is he coming with me then?" Kanda growled. Lavi laughed.

"Isn't it obvious?" he said, "You're going to have to carry him!"

Kanda blanched, staring at Allen who was beaming brightly (and hopefully) at him.

"You can't be serious," he groaned, slapping a hand over his face.

* * *

Allen thought himself as very lucky indeed. Here the raven-haired exorcist was, giving him a piggyback ride and he hadn't died yet! Yes, he was truly lucky.

Kanda on the other hand was in between. As soon as the white-haired boy got on his back, he was genuinely worried. The kid was too light for his age and now that he thought about it, too pale. Maybe spending some time with him wouldn't be such a bad idea... on his morals of course!

Nonetheless, he turned bright red as finders and exorcists pointed and glanced at them on the way to Komui's office. He glared at all them, instantly turning heads away from them. The samurai could feel Allen giggling behind him even if he couldn't hear him.

"Okay, the moyashi can talk now," Kanda pointed a thumb over his shoulder. "Give me my next mission. Somewhere far away from this place and away from him."

Allen sat on a chair, staring at the tall bookshelves in wonder. His head snapped back to the raven-haired man and he smiled.

"Kanda!" Allen spoke as if to reinforce the samurai's words.

"Really?" Komui raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "But I heard from Lenalee-chan and Lavi that that's the only word he can say is your name and he's afraid of people except you, of course."

He let out a string of colorful curses. How the hell did they get here before he did?

"Get them to baby sit!" Kanda argued and felt some veins in his head popping, "I'm too damn busy!"

"No you aren't!" Komui replied in a sing-song voice, "You mission was to take care of Allen and when I meant take care, I meant until he was mentally stable. And besides, he is quite fond of you."

Komui pretended to be searching through some files to avoid the swordsman's wrath. Kanda simmered in his own aggravation, taking a small glimpse of the young boy behind him. Secretly, he was happy to be able to stay a little longer with Allen. He had just complained for reputation's sake.

"By the way," the Head of the Black Order picked up a long piece of sheet metal conveniently placed next to him. "He'll be sleeping in your room."

"WHAT?!" Kanda drew out Mugen and lunged at Komui, crazy rage blinding him. He held up the sheet metal and the blow was easily deflected. Now, had Kanda activated his Innocence... well, that would have been a different story.

"Tsk, tsk," Komui wagged his finger, "You know how well I know your antics. So I prepared myself! OW!" Mugen's hilt came slamming down the Chinese man's head. "Kanda-san! That hurts! How could you be so mean?"

"Shut up, you crazy idiot!" the raven-haired man snarled, "There is no way he is sleeping in my room!"

"Oh ho ho!" Komui gave Kanda a lecherous smile, "You're that worried that you can't control yourself? Aww, you must really love Walker-san to be that dedicated."

"I AM NOT THINKING WHATEVER YOU ARE IMPLYING, YOU PERVERT!" Kanda yelled as he slid Mugen over the man's throat, ready to commit murder.

"So he sleeps in your room," Komui stated, turning around unaffected by his death threats, "A mattress has already been moved in and Lenalee has already supplied some clothes for Walker-san that should be in your room. End of discussion. Good day."

Allen flinched when Kanda carried him in his arms, too irritated to wait for him to get on his back. The cursed boy's cheeks glowed pink before he snuggled warmly into the samurai's chest as he was brought into his new room.

As soon as he left with Allen, two heads emerged from a large pile of papers, books and files.

"Whew!" Lavi gasped for air. "Do you know how deep this pile is, Komui?! I almost drowned in it! You have got to start cleaning this up."

"Thank you, Komui-niichan," Lenalee grinned, rubbing her hands together in glee, "It was a smart idea to get them into the same room, Lavi. Kanda will thank us for this later and I get material for my doujinshis!"

"You're welcome, Lenalee-chan!" Komui ran forward to grab his baby sister in a bear hug. She dodged him skillfully and helped Lavi up.

"Let's just hope that the guy doesn't screw this up," Lavi readjusted his jacket, "Because we all know that Kanda loves the kid but just doesn't want to admit it. And we get the honor of watching!"

All three people congratulated each other on a job well done.

* * *

On the prepared mattress was a stack of neatly folded clothes. Allen winced when he was dropped unceremoniously onto the mattress. He felt his spine collide painfully over a bedspring and glared at the man.

"K-Kanda?" Allen turned red when the swordsman began stripping off his exorcist coat and his shirt. Thankfully, he left his pants on and crawled into the bed next to Allen's.

"Good night," Kanda stared the small boy down as if to kill any argument and shut off the lights.

"Kanda," Allen whispered. He clutched the hem of his new pajamas as he whimpered quietly. "Kanda."

Kanda ignored the whimpering until it turned into a full-blown sob.

"Why does the kid have to cry so easily?" he grumbled and turned back on the lights. He turned his body toward the white-haired child. His face didn't show it but Kanda felt guilty when he looked at the cursed boy's tear-stained face. "What do you want now?"

Allen's arms went forward, craving his touch. Kanda felt his face redden. The younger teen was too damn cute for his own good.

"You're not going to sleep in your own bed quietly, aren't you?" Kanda sighed, gazing at Allen in submission.

Allen shook his head and tearfully looked at him. Kanda sighed again and got out. He hoisted the cursed teen into his arms. Allen flushed as the older man brushed his tears away with his thumb, taking especially great care around his cursed left eye.

"Stupid moyashi," Kanda muttered, placing him on one end of the bed and slipping in next to him. He pulled up the covers and glared at the red-faced boy. "Now will you sleep?"

Allen smiled tenderly and nodded, drifting off to sleep. As he closed his eyes, he thought he imagined the stoic man smile at him and something warm drape over his waist protectively.

Well, a boy can dream.

**A/N: Please read and review. There are 41 of you on the alert list. Let us see if all of you supporters can review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Another chapter. This one is going to have a heart-wrenching plot twist where hopefully all of you will like (or hate) me for. Thank you to all my reviewers. You guys have been so supportive and I appreciate that! And because you guys are so nice and patient, I present to you an extra long chapter! Also, there will be slight OOC on Kanda's part. So please enjoy and review!**

**Another Author's Note: AAAHHHHHHHH!! I am so sorry! The sentences you saw was ch. 5! I'm sorry! Thank you so much for telling me!**

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing.**

Keep Holding Onto These Broken Dreams

As it turned out, Kanda did not sleep a wink last night. He didn't know why but he spent the entire night propped on his elbow, watching Allen sleep. And the funny thing was, he had smiled at the white-haired boy. Him, the stoic bastard of the Black Order Headquarters. It was unbelievable and incomprehensible to him.

How was this possible? How could this little beansprout of a human being capture his heart and induce his happy side so easily? The taller man pondered this for hours on end until he came to the final and most ludicrous notion: He loves Allen Walker.

He loves Allen Walker. That was the only explanation for the blushes, the heart palpitations, the stomach knotting, and all the other mushy things that made him normally gag. That would explain why he was so kind to the moyashi and why he kept pushing him away with barbed words.

The question now was, did the boy love him back? He observed the sleeping child next to him for any answers. He found none, much to his frustration.

"I love you, Allen," the raven-haired exorcist whispered, knowing that the person receiving his affections wouldn't answer or hear him. The words came easily enough but they felt huge. He was in love and he couldn't help but feel happy for the first time in years.

* * *

"Kanda," the boy murmured, his eyes fluttering awake. His first thought was where he was. This certainly wasn't his bed, but he felt comfortable and warm nonetheless.

"Idiot beansprout," a voice hazily made its way into his head. "Get up before your brain turns retarded from sleep." Allen was slightly aware that something heavy was around his waist and someone was breathing into his forehead. It smelled slightly of lotus flower but he wasn't so sure.

He opened his grey eyes and found midnight blue ones staring back. Remembering last night's events, Allen grinned and pretended to be falling back asleep.

"Oi!" the warm something around his waist shook him gently. He found out later that it was Kanda's arm. "Get up! It's already bad enough that you made me miss training but you are not making me miss breakfast!"

At the word breakfast, Allen's eyes shot open again and he jumped out of the swordsman's embrace. His feet landed on the floor and he found that he could stand and walk now.

"Che," Kanda smirked, "All you care about is food. Come on. Let's get ready and then we can go eat."

Allen was shocked to say the least. The meanie samurai was being nice to him! That in itself was a phenomenon to behold.

"Hey!" said man threw a shirt and black vest at him. "Hurry up and get dressed!" Allen blushed and nodded, embarrassed before heading toward the bathroom.

"Kanda!" Allen came out a moment later, tugging his new vest and polo shirt (**A/N: what he usually wears under his exorcist coat**). Allen followed closely after the taller man, stumbling a bit when he abruptly stopped at the food counter.

"Oh my!" Jerry, the gay chef, gushed over the new boy. "What an adorable child! What's your name, cutie? I'll make you anything you want!"

Allen blushed and hid behind Kanda shyly.

"Tempura soba," he ordered gruffly, ignoring the grey-eyed boy clutching his arms.

"And for the sweetie?" Jerry asked, looking at Allen expectantly.

"He doesn't talk," Kanda moved over Allen protectively, "Just give him 10 orders of croquettes, 40 plates of scones, 10 slices of strawberry cheesecake, one liter of orange juice, two orders of potato gratin, three mango puddings, and 15 plates of mitarashi dango." Allen pulled on his sleeve and gave him a pointed glare. "Twenty-five plates of mitarashi dango." Allen smiled at him.

Jerry stopped and gave the little boy an odd stare.

"Are you sure he can eat all that?" he pointed at Allen. Said boy looked unfazed by this comment as if he had recieved it thousands of times before.

"Just shut the hell up and get us our orders," he snapped. In a few minutes, Allen was forced to carry a tray piled high with food. He grinned broadly, thanking Kanda in his mind for ordering his food.

"Yuu-chan! Beansprout-chan! Over here!" Lavi waved them to a table where Lenalee and Lavi were already half way done with their breakfast. The swordsman ignored them and glanced at Allen. He would want to sit with the the idiot rabbit but he would also follow him where ever he went. Reluctantly, he made a beeline for Lavi and Lenalee.

Allen began demolishing the food as soon as he set down his tray. He was so hungry having eaten so little during dinner last night.

"So, Yuu-chan!" Lavi slung an arm around him, "Did you and Allen-chan get along last night, if you know what I mean?"

Kanda did not look up from his soba but drew Mugen and slashed to the general direction of the voice.

"ACK!" Lavi shrieked in horror, "You almost slashed through me and pulled out my guts!"

"Good."

"Wah!" he cried dramatically, hiding (but not touching) Allen. "Allen-chan! Yuu-chan is being mean to me! Make your samurai boy stop!"

Both Allen and Kanda choked on their food. Lenalee giggled and backed away. She pulled out a pad of paper and a pencil to record this for future prosperity. That and to sketch out some scenes for her doujinshi.

"What did you say?" the raven-haired man pointed his sword at the redheaded teen. "There is no way in hell I would love a boy like that beansprout over there!"

And before Kanda could realize the damage he had done, he peeked at Allen. A look of shock and horror passed the cursed teen's face. Tears threatened to spill from those grey orbs. His words mouthed silent words and he stood up abruptly. His hair shielded his eyes but the older man could see that he was already crying.

Finders and exorcists that were in hearing distance stopped eating and watched the drama between them unfold. Some looked at Allen with soft eyes while others glared hatefully at the raven-haired man.

Allen ran out of the cafeteria. He didn't want to hear any more. For now, he needed to run as far away as he could. He would keep moving forward until he tired out or broke down. He didn't need Kanda. He didn't need the stupid idiot. No... Not at all...

"W-Wait!" Kanda got up but did not chase after the boy. Both Lavi and Lenalee looked from Allen's retreating form to him with a mixed look of pity and fury.

"Kanda!" Lenalee scolded, her eyes flaming angrily. "Look what you did! You made him cry!" He said nothing. The beansprout would probably be heading to their room. He would face him later.

"Che." he replied and sat back down to finish his soba. He couldn't help but feel a tiny bit of regret for being so harsh. Guilt rode around his head and made his stomach region turn unpleasantly. How could he have so stupid? Why did his big ego have to speak up now? He stabbed his soba and cursed at himself.

"Well?" Lavi glared at him venomously. "Why aren't you chasing after him?"

"The moyashi is just probably heading to my room," Kanda replied. It felt hollow and empty sounding. Suddenly, he felt his shirt being jerked up. He looked at Lavi with mild surprise.

"You listen here, you long-haired bastard," Lavi spat, his eyes hard as steel, "You better run after that poor boy and say your apologies or I will personally take Mugen and shove it down your throat so that it will cut through your guts and spill them for all of the cafeteria to see. And then I will pin them to the wall along with your sorry excuse for a human body so that you will forever be humiliated by this Order. Not only that, I will also personally break Mugen piece by piece with my Ozuchi Kozuchi as you breathe your final breath so that the last thing your eyes see will be me laughing over the remains of said precious sword. Do I make myself clear?"

"Stupid rabbit," Kanda smirked through his death threat, "I got it after the first threat." Lavi released him and sat back down as he pelted through the crowd of finders, scientists, and exorcists that were watching the spectacle.

"Do you think he's going to patch things up with Allen-kun?" Lenalee whispered to Lavi.

"I think they're going to be just fine," Lavi smiled into his bowl of soup.

* * *

Allen had stopped running. He was lost in the many corridors of the Black Order and his legs had given out on him. He sat on the cold stone floor and curled into a ball against the wall. Why did he have to like Kanda?

The very name made him sick in the stomach and he curled up tighter. His eyes were puffy and pink and he felt very lightheaded. Allen's heart, on the other hand, was very broken and heavy indeed. It hurt his chest and more tears poured down his red cheeks. A soundless wail bubbled up in his throat and made it hard for him to breath. Rage turned him resentful and he found himself clutching his knuckles until one turned white and the other turned light pink.

Why was he such a stupid person? Why? And he knew, bitterly, that what Kanda said was true. He was truly an idiot for falling in love with Kanda.

"Moyashi!" he heard a voice yell. He attempted to get up and run away. Now was not the time to face him. Allen knew he would cry again if he saw that beautiful face anymore. His legs felt leaden and dragged across the stone noisily, alerting the samurai of his location. "Allen! Where the hell are you?"

He looked back and saw that the older man was very close.

"Beansprout!" Kanda shouted again. Allen put in what little will he had and dashed away as fast as he could but Kanda caught up with him anyway. Strong arms circled around his waist and upper torso gently. He struggled weakly against those arms, trying desperately to escape but his spirit gave out and he felt fresh tears prick his eyes.

"Kanda," he murmured, almost pleading with the man holding him so lovingly. It was a lie. A horrible lie.

"I'm not letting you go," the older exorcist whispered into his ear. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Allen felt something heavy on his shoulder and something warm slide down his neck. And he realized that Kanda was crying on his shoulder. "Will you please... forgive me?"

Allen's eyes widened and he turned around to stare at the object of his affections. Tears slid down those cobalt orbs and he saw the truth, the love, and the sincerity in those eyes.

His hands reached for Kanda's cheeks. His lips formed a small smile and he nodded. His arms enveloped the older in a close hug.

"I love you, Allen," Kanda said. "I love you."

Kanda felt his heart grow lighter with the confession. He looked in Allen's stormy grey eyes for an answer. The boy smiled before pulling the swordsman's shirt down and kissing him. Kanda felt himself freeze before he melted into the kiss, instantly taking control of it. His lips moved sensually over the smaller, inexperienced teen's. Allen tasted addicting like a drug he wanted more and more of. Just a taste was not enough to satisfy him. His tongue licked over Allen's soft lips, begging for entrance. The cursed boy complied, parting his lips slightly and allowing Kanda to explore every sweet corner of the white-haired teen's mouth. His arms circled tightly around the boy, keeping him upright as he felt thin arms circle around his neck. After what seemed like a blissful eternity, they broke apart for air.

Kanda gazed at his lover. Allen's face was stained a red hue and he looked delicious, panting for air. His eyes were still pink but now held a new light to them.

"Come on, let's go back," Kanda smiled. Allen nodded but stopped. He seemed to be thinking very hard.

"I l-love y-you," The younger teen stuttered terribly but the meaning got across. The samurai's eyes widened but then softened.

'It's a miracle,' he thought and kissed the boy's cheek, 'You are after all, my Allen now. And no one will take you away from me.'

The two walked hand in hand back to his room.

* * *

Inspector Malcolm C. Rouvelier sat in front of Komui, swirling red wine in his glass.

"So you'll give us permission to test this boy," Rouvelier stated. It was not a question but more of a demand.

"If it is for the good of the Order and the world, then I have no hesitance," Komui bit his lip and threaded his fingers together. His beloved sister would kill him but the Order came first to him.

"He is the Destroyer of Time," the Inspector commented lightly, taking a sip of the contents of the glass, "After we are through with him, he will become our omnipotent tool to win this war against the Earl."

"He is currently staying with Kanda Yuu right now for rest and restoration," Komui remarked, "But he will be fully healed in another three days. Feel free to pick him up after those three days."

"Not at all, Supervisor," he said, setting down the wine glass. "We must have Allen Walker now. We are losing this war and fast. We must hurry and begin the testing."

"So be it," Komui's lips formed a thin, hard line.

'I'm sorry, Lenalee-chan,' Komui thought as he nodded in agreement. 'Forgive me, Kanda.'

**A/N: Ooh... plot twist at the end. What's going to happen next? Thank you all for reading this. I hoped you enjoyed the plot twist. Please review. There are 54 of you supporters and I hope you can all review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Another chapter. I received some comments about OOC-ness and I'm sorry. I'll try not to do that anymore! Again, I'm not good with battle scenes. I'm sorry if it is horrible so just bear with me! Also, please NO flames. Thank you! So please enjoy and review!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Holding the Trump Card in Your Hands

"Royal Straight Flush!" Lavi cried as he lip-read Allen.

"I know, you damn rabbit!" Kanda growled in frustration, "I can fucking see the damn cards!" He slammed his cards on the table, scattering them on the floor. As much as he hated losing, it was worth it, seeing the smile on Allen's lips. Or was that a smirk? He couldn't tell...

"Wow, Allen-kun!" Lenalee observed his cards, "I never knew you were such a good card player!"

"Another game!" Lavi demanded.

Not only did having a good poker face help but also being mute proved to be good on the white-haired boy's part. He shuffled the cards expertly and passed them out with a flourish only seen in professionals.

In a few seconds, Allen tapped the table twice (his signal to make a call) and put down his cards.

"Another royal straight flush!" Lavi lip-read, his eyes not believing what he was seeing. "Allen-chan, this is the third time in a row! There is no way in hell you're this lucky. What's your secret?"

As everyone put down their cards in submission, Allen cackled silently in glee.

* * *

The cursed boy and the swordsman had found Lavi and Lenalee hanging around the cafeteria after training so Allen had suggested that they play a friendly game of poker.

At once, the Bookman and the samurai noticed something different about the boy. His aura turned steely cold and his eyes had a mischievous glint to them when the cards touched his hands.

After winning four consecutive rounds, all three of them knew something was up.

"What's your secret?" Lavi pressed.

Allen's lips moved.

"I cheated," Lavi read before all three people blanched.

"So you're that kind... of person," Lenalee's lips wobbled into a nervous smile. Allen no longer seemed like an innocent, adorable child to her now.

"I cheated to pay off my master's debts," Lavi continued for Allen, "It was our only stable income and put food on the table. Over the years, I got pretty good at it as I spent my life's blood practicing my skills."

After this, Allen let out a shrill, almost evil, laugh. His face was contorted into maniac grin.

'Allen is scary,' Lavi thought, inching away ever so slowly from said child.

'What sort of childhood did my moyashi have?' Kanda (being a stronger person than Lavi) did not back away but fought hard to keep a straight face.

'This is more good material!' Lenalee grinned inwardly, thinking of a new plot.

After Kanda's confession, Allen had hoped the older man had softened but he was still as evil as ever, calling Allen names and threatening to kill Lavi if he ever taunted them about their newfound love.

"Well, I'm tired!" Lavi faked a yawn. In truth, he didn't want his arse whooped again in another game of cards with Allen. He did have an image to keep up.

"Yeah," Lenalee scribbled fiercely, "And I have some work to do. Lavi-niisan and I will be going now. See you at dinner, Allen-kun!"

Allen nodded and waved as they left.

"Come on," Kanda stood up, "Let's go train."

Allen stiffened and touched his sore muscles gingerly. They just went training a few minutes ago. He sat still, folding his arms and refusing to move.

"You have to build up your strength to fight akuma," Kanda smacked his head lightly, "I'm sure the Supervisor will make you into an exorcist."

Allen refused to move and resisted when Kanda tugged his arm.

"Stop acting like a brat and move!" the dark-haired man snapped, his patience worn thin. His fingers went to his temple, massaging them. Another tactic would have to be used. He glanced around the room to see if anyone was watching. Seeing no one, he commenced with his plan. "Come on. If you cooperate and finish your training-"

He didn't finish that sentence but instead he grabbed the younger boy's collar and kissed him so roughly and passionately that the young teen was left in a stupor. He didn't even register when Kanda lifted him by the arms and dragged him into their room.

* * *

"Meditation is good for the body and soul," Kanda explained without a trace of emotion in his voice. His eyes were shut and he blocked out all noises except the sound of Allen's and his breathing. "You must focus on your center and block on all distractions eve- Are you even listening?!"

He opened his eyes. For a small boy, Allen was quick on his feet. He had taken a chair and balanced it haphazardly before doing one-finger push-ups in mid-air.

"Oi!" Kanda got up and hit him on the head gently. "You already did 300 of those today. You have to meditate. Training in not all about strengthening the body but also about the mind."

His touch was enough to send the cursed boy out of balance and toppling forehead first to the floor.

"Now we can get on with the other part of your training," Kanda turned his back on his young lover and sat on the floor.

Allen whimpered, rubbing his forehead in pain. When he removed his hand, he noticed it was coated in a red sticky substance: his blood. His voice instantly escalated into a whine alerting Kanda that something was wrong.

"What is it?" he snapped, turning to Allen. He winced when he saw the boy's forehead and hand was smeared with the crimson liquid. The swordsman sighed and began rummaging his closet for a first aid kit. When he drew out the needed box, he motioned for Allen to come closer.

"You're so clumsy," Kanda growled as he wiped the blood off with a small piece of gauze. "Shit, it's still bleeding."

Without a thought, Kanda licked the wound, staunching the opened wound sufficiently. His tongue traced the outline of the cut, tasting copper and a slight sweet hint that was Allen.

"K-Kanda?" Allen stuttered, putting his hands on the taller man's chest to push him away. His hands were caught and pinned to his sides.

"Stay still," he whispered huskily against the boy's pale skin. The white-haired teen blushed a few dark shades of red but mewled quietly at the attention he was receiving.

Kanda laid a small butterfly kiss on the cut and dressed the wound. His lips moved to Allen's fingers, his tongue cleaning the soiled fingers. The boy flinched when he felt Kanda nip the tips of his fingers playfully.

A knock on the door shook Allen out of his daze. Kanda stood up and opened it, slightly annoyed and anticipating the stupid rabbit. Instantly his eyes became cold and distant.

"May I help you?" he spoke gruffly to the Inspector.

"Yes," Rouvelier replied, his lips parted slightly into a sneer. His eyes strayed to the boy on the floor. "Yes, you can."

Right away, Kanda knew this was no ordinary visit. They were here for Allen. And there was no way in hell were they going to take his beansprout away from him.

Kanda grabbed Allen's arm and pushed the white-haired boy behind him protectively. His other hand hovered over the hilt of Mugen, twitching to pull it out of its sheath.

"Moyashi," he whispered, "When I tell you to, I want you to jump out the window and run as fast as you can away from here. Don't look back. I'm going to try to hold them off as long as I can."

Allen made a small protesting sound and refused to listen to the older man. His deformed hand gripped Kanda's in a comforting manner.

"Men," the Inspector motioned. Kanda glared as soldiers (composed of finders and scientists) began filing into the room and blocking the windows and doors. He cursed; there was no way for Allen to escape now. Kanda drew out Mugen and held it in front of him, ready to strike.

"Take the cursed one," Rouvelier ordered. "Leave the other one alive but knock him unconscious if need be."

Allen was afraid. Who were these men coming to take him away from Kanda? He wanted them to go away. To go away forever and leave them alone. His red arm trembled as if in agreement. Suddenly, he knew what to do. He had heard the white-beret man and Kanda talk about him and his arm before. They said it was called 'Innocence' and that it was a weapon. Allen had used it before to destroy the monsters in his town but in that scenario, it had activated and moved on its own. Maybe, just maybe, he could get it to work for him. He touched the ebony cross embedded on his arm.

"Innocence," Allen mouthed. Even though no sound issued, his red arm began reforming and manifesting itself into a weapon. His arm turned silver and the black nails became as sharp as talons. Acting in defense, he swiped away all personnel coming toward him, and apologizing to each one in his head as they crumbled to the floor or smacked the wall.

"Detain him!" Inspector Rouvelier screamed, his hands and arms waving frantically at Allen, "Get the seals on his Innocence! Seal him and tie him down!"

"Stay away from him!" Kanda shouted, slamming Mugen into anyone who came close to Allen, "He's mine!"

Despite his best efforts, soldiers still made their way to the white-haired teen. A bead of sweat slid down Kanda's forehead, not from exertion but from fear. They were going to take Allen away and he would never be able to see his idiotic beansprout again. Or worse, they were going to kill Allen in one of their experiments and he could never live with that. Either thought was definitely not going to happen. Not so long as he could fight.

Papers clamped down on Allen's Innocence before he could act, turning it back into its original form and rendering it useless **(A/N: If you do not know what the seals look like, refer to Ch. 165)**. More seals were placed on his limbs both normal and deformed so that they were glued together and immobile. Without his arm, he was an easy target to manipulate. Hands dragged his collar and moved him out the room.

"Kanda!" Allen screamed, his arm struggling against the seals. "Kanda!"

"Let him go!" the swordsman shouted, rage fueling him as he sliced through the crowd of scientists and finders restraining him. "Allen!"

Terror flitted in the cursed boy's eyes as he was dragged away from the swordsman and he began thrashing his legs wildly. Aiming a well-developed kick into one soldier and another into the nose of another, he ran toward the room again. Hands grabbed at his shoulders, tripping and pulling him back.

"KANDA!" he screamed one last time, his voice hoarse. His head went limp and all thoughts left him when something warm and soft was pressed against his nose and mouth. He was out before he even knew it.

"ALLEN!" Kanda yelled and attempted to chase after the boy. Something knocked Mugen out of his grip and the same warm and soft cloth was pressed over his face. His last thought swirled hazily in his head as the soldiers filed out; some carrying their wounded comrades. It ran something like this: "I'm sorry, Allen. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you."

* * *

Kanda's mind throbbed as he woke up. This was all a bad dream. When he opened his eyes, he would see the peaceful face of his moyashi sleeping. He would lay a morning kiss (and possibly a few insults) on the boy and then they would get ready for breakfast. Then they would go train. Sadly, this was not what he saw. The samurai's stomach dropped when his hand went to his bandaged head, unwrapping the white strips. He was in the hospital ward.

"Lavi!" Lenalee called, her eyes lighting up, "Kanda is awake!"

A mop of red hair poked into the room and ran to his bedside.

"Where's Allen?" Kanda asked although he knew and dreaded the answer. Both teens looked hesitantly at each other before back at him with a sad look upon their faces. He asked again. "Where the hell is Allen?"

"He's gone," Lavi whispered. "They took him away."

"But he'll be back!" Lenalee spoke up, "I'll ask Komui-niichan to release Allen-kun. It'll be a few weeks but he'll be back!" Despite her the hopeful tone of her voice, her eyes betrayed her. Allen was not coming back and they all knew it.

Kanda refused to listen to either of them. He scrunched the bed sheets between his fists. His normally vibrate midnight blue eyes were dulled and submissive. He cursed at himself for being such a failure.

"I couldn't protect him," Kanda said, his voice hollow and tired. His lip was set in a thin pale line. "I couldn't save him."

Lenalee and Lavi looked at each other worriedly. Something had to be done.

**A/N: Another chapter is done. Allen is gone and Kanda is all emo now. Please don't kill me! It'll be all right in the end. I'm not too fond of unhappy endings. Also, the warm and soft thing I described above is chloroform, which is used to knock out people developed around 1831. There are 65 people that are behind me and let's see it you can all review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Yay, more plot development! But do not fear, there will be more fluff on the way! And also, I would like to thank all my fantastic reviewers! You guys have been so supportive and I love you all. So please enjoy and review!**

**ANOTHER NOTE: Okay, I am confused. Can anyone please tell me if it's called the Dark Order or the Black Order. Because, honestly, there are so many sources telling me this is right and then other ones that say something different. So if I could get a little help please? Thank you! I will love you forevers if you tell me!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

When All Hopes Are Lost

Pain made his head groggy. It had been like that for so long. Allen couldn't remember the last time he had breathed easily. Everyday was either more painful tests or experiments.

When he had woken up, he couldn't remember anything. Not one picture or memory came to mind, not even his own name. He laughed almost bitterly. He didn't know his name and the people dressed in those black cloaks with white masks that restrained him wouldn't tell him. They just called him 'Destroyer of Time'. They told him that he was always here and that he was their weapon, to be used in the war going on with the Millennium Earl. All explanations stopped there. They didn't like when he mouthed too many questions.

That was another thing that confused him. He couldn't speak. No matter how much he wanted to make sound, his throat refused. But if anything, that made the people that tested him happier. He couldn't scream when they prodded him with odd tools that burned his skin or call out for help when he was hurt. After a few days of trying to talk, he stopped. It was useless anyway, wasn't it?

So day in and day out, he stayed alone in a room covered with wards. To protect him, they told him and commanded him to stay in. It was a lavishly furnished bedroom and bathroom but to him, it was a prison cell. He was never allowed out, unless it was for more tests or experiments. His meals were brought inside and taken out by the men in the black cloaks.

He wondered sometimes, if they were telling him the truth. Why were they keeping him here? How long had he been here? At night, he liked to dream that he had a regular life. He dreamt that he had friends like a normal person. He imagined a girl with pigtails, laughing with him as a boy with flame red hair and an eye patch was being chased by another boy with long raven hair tied in a high ponytail. The boy with the long hair also was his protector. He had a sharp samurai sword and could protect him from all the nightmares of this facility.

Allen had no idea why he chose this one boy but this person was his savior. But in his sleep, he could pretend that the long-haired boy was taking him away from this place forever and they would be happy.

* * *

Allen woke when the sound of the door opened. His sense of hearing had sharpened considerably over the past few days. His limbs ached and he wished he were somewhere warm and safe.

"Get up, Destroyer," a man with blond hair and two dots on his forehead came into his imprisonment. Link, he was called but Allen didn't care nor did he have the strength to. "You have another day of tests."

Allen looked up at him blankly. His arms and legs, covered with cuts and bruises, obeyed the man and sluggishly moved up and out of the room. They moved through a labyrinth of corridors and halls before the two stopped in front of the door Allen always dreaded to see.

"Come in," a man dressed in a white lab coat opened the door, ushering them both into the building. Odd instruments and beakers laid about on plain tables where tubes flew back and forth with strange liquids. A large machine pumping heat and power into the building was placed dead center in the room where another table attached with wires was hooked up to. Allen winced. That was where they ran physical tests on him.

What is it today, Allen thought. Another painful operation on his innocence arm? Or another experiment?

They left him in front of a pair of steel doors. The man in the white coat ordered him to go in as soon as the doors opened. He knew not to argue. The white-masked people would prod him in with electric rods if he didn't do as they told.

The steel doors opening told him the answer. Akuma. Hordes of them swarmed in the room, looking for a victim.

Allen almost screamed again when the door behind him closed, leaving him to fend for himself in the darkness. He stopped himself and activated his innocence, Crown Clown. His eyes whirred into its usual gear, allowing him to the world of black and white. He had no idea how his arm or eye became like that. One day, he had this strange discerning belief that everything was going to be okay and that the man in his dreams would come save him. Then suddenly, he felt this warm sensation spread throughout his body and he had transformed into this.

He sighed, staring up at the hideous souls that were crying out to him for salvation and drew his clawed hand into an attacking position. Fifty-four akuma this time. The sooner he got this done, the sooner he could leave.

"Amazing," the man with the white coat outside breathed. "His synch rate is almost past 100. After the evolution to Crown Clown, his synch rate, speed, and strength has increased ten fold!"

"But is it enough to defeat the Earl?" Rouvelier asked.

"Just about," he assured, his nerves instantly tensing. One did not make assumptions in the Black Order.

"Just about is not enough!" the Inspector spat, holding the man by the collar. "We must win this war or else we will be annihilated. Do you want that to happen?"

Rouvelier's face contorted into anger as he threw the scientist down and straightened himself. The steel doors open, revealing a tired Allen who collapsed on the ground.

A bullet wound was evident on his chest, the poison counteracted but still lodged in the skin. Blood pooled around the cursed teen, staining his pale skin and hair.

"One less from last time," he remarked and turned away and allowed the scientists to rush to the white-haired boy's side. "Heal him and prepare him for the next test."

* * *

"But Komui-niichan," Lenalee begged, her eyes filled with tears. "You must get them to release Allen-kun."

It broke the white-beret man's heart to see his sister in such a state but he knew that he couldn't help her no matter how hard he tried.

"I'm sorry, Lenalee-chan!" Komui sobbed, hugging his precious little sister around the waist. "I can't do that. Orders are orders."

"But, Komui," Lavi was next to Lenalee. His eyes were desperate. "Can you at least tell us where bean sprout-chan is?"

"No," Komui regained his composure and straightened himself. "I'm afraid that is classified information. The most I can tell you is that he's not dead."

"Che," Kanda finally spoke up from his corner of the room. His voice was barely above a whisper. "That's because he's an omni weapon against the Earl. You won't kill him off."

"The question is, will he be sane?" Lavi responded. None of them wanted to think of it, but they knew that even if they got the white-haired boy back, he probably wouldn't be the same again. Even then, there was no guarantee that the small beloved teen would be mentally stable. They had seen first-hand what the experiments at the Black Order could do to people.

"Face it," the swordsman said brokenly, "The baka moyashi won't come back. He never will." No life reflected in those dark eyes.

"Yuu-chan!" Lavi scolded, "You can't say that! Bean sprout-chan will come home for sure!" It was no use. Usually using the raven-haired teen's first name would get him pissed off and storming after the future bookman but Kanda did not get up from his spot on the floor. This worried Lavi the most.

"So the best we can do is wait?" Lenalee bit her lip, her hands shaking on her lap. The red-haired teen looked at his feet. He missed the kid. Allen was like a brother to him in the short time they had been together.

"I'm sorry!" Komui burst out into tears again, clutching the girl as if his life depended on it. "I'm so sorry! But there's nothing I can do!"

At this, Kanda abruptly stood up and exited the room without a word. Both Lenalee and Lavi looked at him sympathetically. They knew he was taking this the hardest although he wouldn't let it show.

* * *

After leaving the room, Kanda left to train in the forest. The wind whipped around him as if cajoling him of his loss.

"How could I be so weak?" he muttered at himself. A tight knot swelled up in his chest as he butchered the trees around him angrily. "I couldn't save him."

He repeated this as a mantra in his head, blaming himself over and over again. This made his resolve stronger as he made a plan. If Komui wasn't going to help him, he would need to go Allen on his own. After midnight, he would sneak into Komui's office and try to find something about his bean sprout. Easy enough.

Searching, though, proved a lot more difficult than he thought. With the mess of papers and documents all over the place, it would take him ages to find it.

"Yuu-chan," a voice behind him sang. He turned and saw Lavi leaning against a book shelf waving a file around leisurely. "Is this what you're looking for?"

Kanda glared at him, reaching up to snatch the papers away. Lavi jumped out of the way, next to Lenalee who was hiding behind another bookshelf.

"You're not getting this until you let us come with you," The future bookman waved it in his face tauntingly.

"Give it to me, you damn rabbit!" the samurai snarled, pulling out Mugen.

"No can do, Yuu!" Lavi smirked, dodging him.

"We just want to help!" Lenalee reasoned, "We also want to save Allen-kun too!" The raven-haired man finally caught up to him and grabbed the documents away from his hand.

"Do what you wish," he flipped through the pages and after finding what he need, tossed it back to the ground. "But don't get in my way."

"Yay!" Lavi cheered, "Operation Save Allen has begun!" Lenalee giggled and followed the two along, into the Undergrounds.

From the shadows, Komui came out, smiling to himself. He had intentionally mislaid the file on the top of his desk so it would be easy to find.

"Good luck," he whispered to the group before heading back to his room and sipping his coffee.

**A/N: Not much fluff but Kanda and Co. have come to save Allen... who has memory loss. Wonder how that's going to come out... Thank you all for reading and drop a review if you liked it!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: And here is the long awaited chapter seven. Not much to say except thank you to Timcampy for telling me that it's actually Black Order. So thank you! You have my eternal gratitude! **

**So please enjoy and review. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Star-Crossed Lovers

"Ne, Yuu-chan," Lavi whined as they walked down the 54th dark and creepy corridor they had encountered. "Are we there yet?"

Kanda grinded his teeth in irritation as Lenalee sighed again. They stopped in front of an opening that looked the same as the rest.

"No, you damn rabbit," Kanda snarled, "We are not there yet."

"In fact, we're back where we started," Lenalee pointed to something shining on the floor. Lavi picked it up; it was the button he had dropped to mark the place where they had began. The Allen rescue team sighed depressingly.

"How the hell is this happening?" the future bookman groaned, collapsing on the stone ground. "We were going straight and somehow we ended back here."

Kanda didn't want to say it but he was getting hopeless. They had wandered around for the better part of the night and had gotten nowhere. Each time he seemed to lose his will power, he brought up Allen's smiling face in his mind and walked forward with renewed determination. There was no way that he was going to leave without his little beansprout.

"The way these halls are built. They are supposed to confuse the escapee and leave them lost for days," Lenalee reminisced, "I remember getting lost in these hallways and being brought back to be experimented on." A look of distress passed over her face. Her green eyes twitched at the memories that went through her head and her breath hitched.

"Eh?" both Lavi and Kanda stared at her now. "You were down here before?"

"Of course," the girl nodded. Both men looked at her expectantly. She tapped her chin thoughtfully, her eyes clouded over. "And now that I think about it, there might be a way to the laboratories."

"Really?" Lavi broke out into a wide grin. He jumped up, strengthened with the prospect of a new lead. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

"Che," Kanda smirked, "She hasn't even told us how to get there and you're already as high as crack."

"Yuu-chan!" the redheaded teen whined, "You're so mean."

"Mou," Lenalee huffed before turning to them and looking at them seriously, "Whenever I escaped, I always brought a knife or some sort of sharp tool. I marked the bottom of the walls every few yards to make sure I was going the right way."

"Right, so we just have to follow the markings," Kanda searched the walls and found not one marking but many. Shapes, letters, lines, dots, and dashes decorated the bricks like a child's chalkboard.

"Yeah, about that," Lenalee rubbed the back of her head sheepishly, "Because I escaped so many times, I used a different mark for each time."

"Well?" Lavi prompted, "Which one is the one that led you out?"

"I never got out," Lenalee replied, her voice laced with pain. Her body quivered as the memories flooded her like a tidal wave. "I never did."

"Lenalee?" Lavi put a hand on her back. His face showed concern for his friend. "Are you okay?"

Her eyes snapped up and she smiled brightly at him.

"I'm okay," she fumbled over the words as if they were hard to say. "Don't worry about me. Worry about Allen-kun. We have to find him quickly."

Kanda thought about her words for a second.

"Do you know which shape you got the farthest on?" Kanda inquired. "If we can find that, we can follow it back." _'To Allen' _he added in his head as an after thought.

The pigtailed girl nodded.

"I think it was crosses," she confirmed as Lavi steadily helped her up to her feet. "Yes, I'm pretty sure."

"Okay then," Lavi smirked, "We just have to find a cross and follow it inwards."

Kanda scanned the walls for a cross as they continued their way down the corridors and pretty soon found a neat little cross etched on a yellowing slab of rock.

"Oi, I found one," the raven-haired exorcist kneeled down and traced a finger over the design.

"Great!" the bookman junior nodded, enthusiastic, "We can follow it now."

"Wait, stupid rabbit," he snapped. "How the hell do you know where you're going?"

Lavi stopped and took in his surroundings. They were at a four-way intersection. All the entrances looked the same.

"For all we know, any one of these can lead to where moyashi is."

"Good point," he conceded somberly. "Then how do we know which one to take?"

"There must be something here to give us a hint to where it goes," Lenalee spoke, thinking hard, "I've always wondered how the scientists find their way around here."

"Yuu!" the red haired teen shouted, motioning for them to come to one of the entrances. "I found something!"

Both Kanda and Lenalee hurried to where Lavi was.

"What the fuck does this mean?" the swordsman's gaze shifted over to Lavi, demanding him for a translation. On the wall was an inscription: At 'r Labordy.

"It's Welsh," Lavi read, "I've studied all the languages in the world."

"Well?" Lenalee gestured for him to go on. "What does it mean?"

"To the Laboratory," Lavi almost laughed, "This is way too blunt." Kanda silently agreed and something close to suspicion made him unnerved.

He went up to another entry.

"Oi, idiot rabbit," he called. "What does this say?" He pointed to a engraving that said Hen til den Laboratorium.

"This can't be right," Lavi scrutinized it from every angle. "It's in Danish and it also says 'To the Laboratory'."

"I thought so," the samurai let out a frustrated sigh. They had come so far. "We're getting nowhere."

Lenalee didn't think so. Her mind refused to leak any more memories that she had locked away so many years ago. They were too painful and terrifying for her to handle but she wanted nothing more than to save Allen. She forced herself to remember as far back and as vividly as she could.

"It's color coded," Lenalee whispered. "All the words are color coded."

Again, both men's attention landed on her.

"Blue for the living quarters for the scientists, red for the experimentation rooms, green for the laboratories, and yellow for the pr-... where they held us," Lenalee recited, trying desperately to keep the emotions from showing on her face.

"I see," Lavi absorbed this information. He walked to the four entrances, checking the other two before he found one translated in Portuguese and marked green. "Found it!"

They continued down, expecting more complications but met none. The crosses appeared once in a while, marking their path clearly.

"Wow, Lenalee," Lavi commented as they went down the torch-lit passage, "You sure know this place like the back of your hand."

"Unfortunately," she muttered under her breath. Her eyes were downcast and she seemed petulant for a moment.

"The tunnel ends," Kanda spoke. His heart hammered in anticipation and he pushed up Mugen's hilt with his thumb. Those men that took Allen had hell to pay for taking him away. His fingers itched to draw his blade around the throats of those soldiers. He couldn't wait to hear their screams echo as their life slowly drained from their bodies and their blood poured out of their entrails like crimson waves in the seas.

"Kanda?" Lavi questioned. "Are you okay? You seem... on the edge." Suddenly, a thought hit the one-eyed boy. "No, Yuu-chan! Don't you dare think about it! You will not start a massacre here!"

"Why can't I?" he growled, "Those bastards are gonna get what they deserve!" A manic glint showed up in his eyes. He could taste their blood on his lips.

"Kanda-kun," Lenalee watched him with sympathetic eyes. "I agree that they need to be punished but you are an exorcist. Your job is not to hack down every human life as your revenge."

The samurai refused to listen and both exorcists knew it. They exchanged worried glances before Lenalee stepped forward.

"Kanda-kun," Lenalee took his arms gently, "Allen-kun would not want you to commit homicide for him."

There it was, the magic word. Kanda's muscles relaxed slightly at the mention of his lover's name.

"Yeah, Yuu-chan," Lavi nodded, "Moyashi-chan is a good person. He wouldn't want you swinging that sword of yours left and right and killing every human on sight. The kid loves you and trusts you."

"I don't need your scorn," Kanda relinquished the girl's hold on him and continued to stalk toward the ending of the corridor. Despite his coldness, their words had penetrated him. Allen wouldn't want him to slaughter anyone, no matter how much the bastards deserved it.

He hid behind a large table, motioning for Lavi and Lenalee to do the same. No one noticed that they had sneaked in; they were all huddled around the base of a huge large machine pumping heat and power into the building that was placed dead center in the room. At the base was a table and strapped to the table, was Allen. Lights and sparks glowed around the white-haired boy's arm as it was being dissected and studied.

Kanda's heart skipped a beat. It had been weeks since he had seen his Allen's face and now that he had a glimpse of it, his rage came back in full. It took all his self-control to stop from pouncing right now.

Allen screamed, although the swordsman couldn't hear it, but he could see the tears running down his face begging for salvation.

"Yuu's gonna go ballistic on those bastards!" Lavi exclaimed in horror before mumbling under his breath, "Not that I blame him."

Lenalee didn't reply. The place brought back the time when she was here. It made her shiver uncontrollably.

"Lenalee?" Lavi took her shoulders and shook her, "Lenalee! Get a hold of yourself!"

"I can't Lavi," her face was contorted with the tears coming down her eyes. Her breath came in short gasps. "It's too much."

"This is bad," Lavi muttered as he watched Allen being practically tortured. He turned his attention back to Lenalee. "You have got to snap out of it! We have to save Allen. Remember?"

Lenalee nodded fervently but her eyes remained wide as she hyperventilated.

"R-Right," she nodded, steeling herself. "We're here to save Allen-kun." She clutched her shirt and took one deep breath.

Kanda let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. The lights had stopped and the scientists were all drifting away, probably to the living quarters. Only one soldier was left, standing alert next to the unconscious boy.

His eyes made contact with Lavi's who nodded. At once, he jumped out of his hiding place and charged with Mugen in his hands. He had full intention of spilling the soldier's blood had it not been for Allen's voice.

"Stop," the voice slurred. The stormy grey eyes were wide but he had no time to see this. Instead, he charged at the man, knocking him out cold before the soldier could get a glimpse of him.

"Moyashi-chan!" Lavi grinned, "Hang on! We'll get you out of here in no time!"

"Innocence activate," Lenalee chanted, before jumping up and slamming her heels down on Allen's restraints. They broke slightly and Lenalee repeated the motion, breaking the right arm restraint.

"Hurry up," Lavi urged as he heard footsteps coming from a corridor. He pulled out his Innocence weapon. "Konbo Ban!" A large iron and flame shield formed at the opening, shielding them from view and keeping the soldiers at bay.

"I've got it!" Lenalee strained as she hit the last link that held Allen. Kanda grabbed the child roughly and slung him over his shoulder.

"We have got to get out now!" Lavi struggled to keep his shield up.

"Che, stupid rabbit," Kanda smirked, "Stop your shield and get the hell out of here!"

Lavi didn't have to be told twice and ran as if the devil himself were at his heels.

"They went down the labyrinth!" a voice echoed in the hallways. "Hurry! They have the Destroyer!"

"Stop!" Kanda heard another voice behind him.

"Lenalee!" Kanda called. Said girl looked back. "Take him and run as fast as you can!" Lenalee's eyes widened, knowing what they were going to do.

"Don't worry!" Lavi smiled, giving her a thumbs up. "We'll catch up!"

Lenalee shouldered Allen before casting both men worried glances.

"Stay safe and come back home, okay?" she made them promise, "Otokase!" And she flew away from them.

"Yuu-chan," Lavi smiled. "Promise me you won't leave a bloody mess in these hallways."

"You damn rabbit," Kanda barked, "I have self-control! I need you to knock down the walls of the corridors. Trap them here."

"You got it, Yuu-chan!" he obeyed, twirling the small hammer. "Ozuchi Gozuchi! Man man man!" The hammer grew to an enormous size before Lavi swung at the walls and knocked them down to cover the hallways.

* * *

Allen's head was in a fog. He distantly felt himself being carried around and the wind in his hair. It was all too hazy to distinguish what he was feeling. His body had become numb and his head felt so dizzy. His mind flickered between unconsciousness and consciousness.

"Allen-kun," he heard a soft voice floating in his mind. It sounded like a girl's. "Hang on there. I'm taking you to the infirmary."

He felt the wind speed stop and heard a scream that made his brain throb. His body was being put on a fluffy white cloud. It felt nice and safe but the safe feeling was gone soon as something sharp was jabbed up his wrist. He gave a cry of protest and tears leaked out. More experiments?

But the pain and torture immediately faded away into giddy happiness as Allen felt himself float into the sky.

He recounted today's events and giggled. He had seen the boy of his dreams. He was just how he imagined, down to the mean glare and contempt in his frown. He dreamt he was saved by the long-haired boy and his friends. He was _saved_.

And that made him feel loved. His friends had come to save him and he was safe.

Whatever dream he was having, he didn't want to wake up. Not now, not ever.

**A/N: Poor Allen. He's all delusional. But next chapter will be extra fluffy! I promise! Anyways, tune in next time for chapter 8! Please review if you enjoyed it.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Get ready for the fluff overload that all of you people wanted! Yep! Chapter 8 is here! Wow... I feel like a retard. Anyways, please enjoy and review!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

"I don't know who you are…"

The foggy voices turned in Allen's head, making his mind go numb. Three voices, two male and one female as far as he could tell. His grey eyes opened briefly before shutting again as bright light muddled his senses. Allen's hands moved over his eyes, rubbing them profusely as they got used to the blinding light. A small groan made its way up in his throat.

Where was he? His fingers felt the soft warm sheets, and the IV in his arm. He resisted the urge to pull it out as the girl with the pigtails turned her gaze at him.

"Allen-kun!" the female's voice exclaimed, a relieved smile spreading across her face. "He's awake! Allen-kun is awake!" Allen? Who was this Allen? The name sounded strangely familiar to him but he didn't know why.

"Oh, Moyashi-chan is awake!" the redheaded boy grinned at him. He frowned in return. Who were these people?

"Che, took you long enough," the raven-haired man spoke next, giving him a smirk. That man. It was the person who saved him. His breath was caught in his throat. So he really was safe. The thought made his heart burst with joy and he visibly relaxed.

Allen shifted slightly, pushing himself up on his elbows. His efforts were stopped when the long haired man grabbed his arms and gently forced him back down.

"You're still too weak," he whispered, "Rest now." There was such a tender gaze in the Japanese man's eyes that made Allen shiver. Did he know this person personally? There were too many questions in his head, begging to be answered.

"Uh... Yuu-chan," the redhead motioned to the man holding his arm and pulled the girl with the pigtails out with him. "We'll be leaving now so you can spend some time with Moyashi-chan! But don't take too long! We still want him in one piece!"

"Shut up, you rabbit!" the sound of metal being drawn out and thrown across room rang in the white haired boy's ears. There was a slam of the door and a thud as the metal landed in the wall. There was a silent pause between the two where Allen looked around the room, confused and Kanda sat next to him, fuming and cursing the future bookman.

A second later, the cursed boy found himself in the embrace of the older man.

"Allen, I've missed you," he murmured. "I've missed you so much." Allen blushed with embarrassment. Just who was this guy? And why was he hugging him?

He flailed his arms weakly, trying to pry the man's arms off of him.

"Who are you?" Allen muttered, expecting his voice to be nonexistent but miraculously enough, it was present. Well, now was the chance to make full use of it. Not missing a beat, he launched all the questions that came to mind. "Who is this Allen you keep talking to? Where am I? Why are you hugging me like you know me?" He stopped, wheezing slightly and grimaced. He hadn't used his throat in a while and it seemed that he had overexerted himself.

Kanda froze, releasing him but holding him at arms length. His piercing dark blue eyes seemed to be studying Allen for any hint of deceit but could find none.

"Che, moyashi," he smirked, "You usually can't say very much."

"Answer me," Allen replied just as seriously. His eyes pleaded for the explanations to his query.

"This isn't funny, Allen," the swordsman glared at him but sighed. "You must have hit your head on something."

"Answer me," he repeated.

"Very well," the man softened his gaze at him, "I'm Kanda and you're Allen. You're in the Black Order Hospital Wing because we just saved your ass from those bastards back at the lab. And I'm hugging you because I love you, you stupid beansprout. Good enough for you?"

"Not possible," the boy shook his head and said blankly, "My name is the Destroyer of Time. I am not Allen." There was no way he could be a normal human being. He had a freakishly mutated arm, for God's sake! He was a tool to win the war and that was it. That was his destiny. He wasn't some normal person with a normal name and normal friends.

His heart ached. Yes, he was an omni weapon but then, why did he sound so sad?

At this, the taller man let him go and stared at him with wide eyes. Allen stared at him with equal surprise. Had he done something wrong?

Kanda quickly recovered and fixed Allen his most level gaze.

"You're Allen," he said firmly, "I'm pretty damn sure of it. Who else had white hair like an old man and a cursed pentacle over their eye?" There was a hint of amusement in his voice as if to shield any shock.

"And I'm saying I'm not," Allen retorted with the same amount of force, "I don't know who you are... but you are nothing to me." The words rang horribly in Kanda's ears and felt like poison.

He had been so happy when Allen was finally awake. They would be together again and things would go back to the way they were. They would be a couple again.

But something had happened to his beloved little boy. Something that made his beansprout cold and distant. And Kanda didn't like it.

"You are," he insisted, grabbing his arm roughly and ignoring the protesting whine coming from the younger male. He didn't want to believe that the Allen he knew and loved was gone.

"I'm not, okay?" Allen shook his hands off him but was rather unsuccessful. He winced as the grip became slightly painful. "I'm not this Allen person. I can't be Allen so stop touching me like you know who I am!" And with that, he pried of Kanda's arms and turned around so his back was facing the raven-haired man. Allen gathered himself in a ball, refusing to budge.

"Allen," was all he could say.

"Stop calling me that!" he screamed, covering his ears. "I hate you! Stop telling me these lies!" He knew that the cursed boy didn't mean what he said. Kanda made a move to comfort the boy but stopped himself. Allen would probably shun him again.

The boy's shoulders quivered with silent tears and he bunched together the blankets in his fists. This was much too confusing for him and it made his body wrench with anguish. His mind was holding something back from him but his body reacted whenever Kanda touched him. He knew the man yet he didn't.

"I can't be," the white haired boy mumbled to himself, "I'm not human. How can I be? I'm a freak with an ugly deformed arm. I'm nothing more than a weapon." Despite being his quiet voice, Kanda heard every word and it hurt him to hear his Allen hurt.

"No, you're not," Kanda moved to envelope the small scared child in an awkward hug. He tucked the boy's head under his chin snugly and wrapped his arms around his waist. "You're not a tool. You are mine."

"Stop telling me these lies," Allen whispered weakly, not even believing himself. The older teen's hold on him grew stronger and tighter, pulling Allen's body flush against his. The white haired boy resisted, struggling fruitlessly against his hold.

"I'm not lying," he stared intently at the smaller boy, his sharp navy blue eyes flashed as if daring him to protest more. "You're just as human as me and your arm isn't freakish. It's beautiful and I love it." And as if to prove his point, he picked up Allen's black arm and kissed the palm of it gently. Allen turned a bright shade of pink and gazed in awe at the man holding him so affectionately. Never had he felt so loved, so cherished, so _alive._

Without his notice, tears poured down his cheeks again and he found himself sobbing into the older man's chest. Kanda waited calmly albeit being a bit uncomfortable (since he had no experience with cheering up people), whispering comforting words and rubbing soothing circles on the smaller teen's back until he stopped crying.

"Why?" Allen asked through his tears. "Why are you so kind to me?" Kanda blushed slightly but answered without a second thought.

"Because I love you," he affectionately brushed away the trail of tears that was on the cursed boy's cheeks. "Because you are my Allen." He tipped up Allen's chin and sealed his lips with his in a chaste and sweet kiss.

And for now, he truly believed Kanda. He was home.

* * *

The End

**A/N: Aww... Allen doesn't know who Kanda is anymores... poor Allen. But Kanda will help you remember whether you want to or not! Please review if you enjoyed it! Just to let you know, there will be a sequel so tune in for that!**

**And thank you to all of you people out there reading this story! I've had so much support and help throughout this story and I enjoyed writing this so much. So thank all of you that are following the story since Chapter 1.**


	9. Author's note for the sequel

Hello, my dear readers! As you must know, Speechless and Breathless is not done.

In fact, I planned a sequel and I've released it. It's called Avoidance and please check it out if you like this story.

Also, I'd like to thank all the people that reviewed my story! Thank you so much for being there all the way.

And below is an excerpt of it:

During the few weeks where Allen was discharged from the hospital after being deemed physically healthy, Kanda had realized that Allen would never be the same little boy he had (although he would never admit it) adored. For one, the white-haired teen denied any bodily touch even from Kanda. This provided some difficulty for the swordsman who, after a month of not seeing his lover, felt very... needy.

Allen had also regained his voice (a miracle on his part) but this switched on and off. Meaning, he was mute one day and on another, he could speak without any trouble. How the hell that worked was still a mystery to the white-haired exorcist.

And another thing: Allen was _very_ good at hiding and avoiding the longhaired teen when he felt shy or didn't want another make out session, which was often. This proved to be a problem...

Thank you for reading! And I hope you can be supportive of the sequel, Avoidance as you have for Speechless and Breathless!


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